"We have secured access to a very large ranch in an undisclosed location in the Pacific Northwest. The ranch is an old cattle ranch established in the early 1800's. The property's approximately 26 mile perimeter is completely surrounded by barbed wire. In the Spring when the Sasquatch are most active, we have our research team walk the fence line and collect the hair which is caught on the barbed wire from the bigfoot crossing back and forth. We take random samples of the hair to have DNA tested so that we can guarantee that the hair is 99.97% pure. We have the technicians who insert the hair into the vials wear protective clothing, and the work is done in a "clean room" so as to prevent cross contaminations during production. that is our story, and we are sticking to it... For entertainment purposes only, of course."